Today I opened a window and it smelled like Winter. Today I poured cream into a cup of coffee and watched it bloom. (What an honor to the audience to such a delicious dance). This morning, the sun shone through the window and the shadow it made the fire escape made on the curtains was every kind of amen. This morning, the color of my lover’s skin was the reason I believe in God.

All this, I think,
is what I mourn for you the most:

The no-more-ness of simple pleasures, how you will not smell Autumn this year, or roll down the window to taste the wind on an open road, how you will not know a new season is here from the smell of a sky before it is
cracked open by rain

I hope your life was full of delights.
I hope someone loved you
and knew each of your pleasures
by name.
I hope they always gave you
the window seat,
the last bite. I hope they kissed
your mouth in public. Hope they read
your favorite books to you
out loud.
I hope they got you flowers.
Not all the time, just
when it mattered.
When they really, really
meant it.
An orchid, or lilies, perhaps
a bouquet in half-bloom,
to leave room for the opening.
I hope they prayed for you,
even if they did not
call it
I hope they told you to
stop smoking.
I hope you tried.
I hope they held
your hands. Let you sleep
in. I hope they loved you
hard and full and
without flinching.

But most of all,
I hope they said
your name.

I hope they said your name
and the sound of it was yes
their native tongue
the only home they knew
a promise worth keeping

I hope your name was
nourished and full
a heartbeat in the quiet
a deep breath in the noise

I hope they said your name
and the sound of it was gospel
the string section
a perfect harmony

I hope your name
was a crackling fire
a child’s laugh
a match, struck

I hope your name was
wind through the leaves
waves licking the shore
a grandfather clock, loud
and unafraid of time

I hope your name was
the first bite of a ripe peach
a wind chime
a page turned
a rolling boil
–steady and opening

Sandra, I hope
your name
was a ballad
a blessing

I hope the sound of your name
in their mouth
made you feel
like the first day
of Spring.

Like you were a garden
and everything was in bloom.

Like you were a seed, once
and the water, and the soil.

Like you were the sun. The light
over everything,

Like you
could make anything